Men, how do we, and should we, treat our wives? Below are two important comments made by two Christian leaders that address this subject. The first comes from John Chrysostom, a 4th Century pastor. The second is by Timothy Jennings, president of "Come and Reason Ministries".
"What kind of marriage can there be when the wife is afraid of her husband? What sort of satisfaction could a husband himself have, if he lives with his wife as if she were a slave, and not with a woman by her own free will? Suffer anything for her sake, but never disgrace her, for Christ never did this with the Church" (John Chrysostom, "On Marriage and Family Life").
"The law of freedom is a design law on which God constructed his intelligent beings to exist in perfect love. Love can only exist in an atmosphere of freedom...When we violate the freedoms of others, three predictable consequences always occur: (1) Love is damaged, and if freedom is not returned love will eventually be destroyed in such a relationship; (2) a desire to rebel and get away from the controlling person is instilled in the hearts; and (3) if freedom isn't reclaimed but instead one chooses to stay under the domination of another, then over time individuality is destroyed and the ability to think and reason for oneself is lost...Only in an atmosphere of genuine freedom does love exist and grow, and relationships thrive" (Timothy R. Jennings, Marriage: Its Foundation, Theology, and Mission In A Changing World, "Marriage-God's Design," 152-3).If we remember that the Son, who is equal in power and glory with the Father, is willingly and happily in submission to the Father, and the Spirit, who is equal in power and glory with the Father and Son, is willingly and happily in submission to the Father and the Son, it reminds us that (1) submission is not a dirty word; (2) but also, submission is a willing gift from equals. Healthy submission is not forced, pounded out, or demanded servility. It is a beautiful gift given when there's trust.