Safe People" By Henry Cloud and John Townsend. A Review

Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't by Henry Cloud
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I hate books like this one because I'm pretty certain the authors are talking about me! It was like that in the abnormal psychology class in college. Of course, Cloud and Townsend are not really talking about me, but about people in general. Yet, since Genesis 3 all of us have been playing manipulative and maladjusted relational games. We've grown up in families that have fine-tuned sinful patterns, and we are deeply ensconced in layered family systems that have handed off, generation after generation, ways of using, and being used by, other people. That's why books like this one are so personal, because all of us have trends that lean toward the models displayed throughout.

Nevertheless "Safe People" is about breaking free of those harmful relational habits, and learning to see why we are attracted to unsafe people. But the goal of the authors is to give the readers help in recognizing what makes someone a safe person, and how to take the steps to become a safe person. As the authors will write toward the end, the "idea of changing our own character first is really what this book is all about. In order to have safe people, we must first become safe people" (192).

"Safe People" is an ideal book for the newly married and the seasoned. It is also a good self-assessment if your marriage is on the rocks or has ruptured. But the authors look beyond marriage into many of our other relationships. This easy-to-read manual would be an ideal resource for reading groups, adult classes, recovery groups, and individual people. I recommend the book.


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