"The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide" by Hunter and Larochelle. A Review

 

This workbook is meant to take you through 52-weeks of self-care. It’s primarily for those in a relationship with a high-conflict spouse. It’s not filled with a tone of 15-step-how-tos per se. It’s really about coming to grips with your situation with a high-conflict person (HCP), and surviving. But more than just surviving, it’s about regaining your power of self-direction. As the author’s note, this book “is a wake-up call that you need to start taking care of yourself. You will see how well or sick you are at the beginning and at the end on your weekly journey to becoming a healthier human and parent” (9).

There were several moments I found myself saying, “Yeah! What she just said! That’s how it feels and that’s what it’s like!” Other times the writers throw a good dose of reality in the reader’s way to make sure readers know the hard truth so as to make some rock-solid decisions. For example, “Your co-parent will never change. I can almost 100% guarantee that. But you can” (132). Short of regular sessions with a therapist, this workbook could well be a life-preserver for many who find themselves floundering in the rough seas of co-parenting with a HCP.

Lots of little editorial glitches in the book. And I’m not always a big fan of self-helpism, which this volume has plenty of. But I did find it a reasonable read that has a load of value. I read this work for personal reasons. One of them is as a Christian minister I need resources to recommend to parishioners or others who come to see me. If I am dealing with a person in a high-conflict relationship, this will be a manual I’ll recommend.

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