Neighborly
Yesterday (Tuesday) I received a phone call from our neighbor across the street from our house. Labor Day (Monday) was a perfect storm for them. While they were out of town and traveling back to OKC, some kid in a Go-Kart lost control of his contraption and it slammed into their garage, destroying the bottom panel of their garage door. The hole left was big enough for a grown adult to easily crawl through. The kid was fine, but simply drove away without telling them (it’s all recorded on a security camera). On top of this – something I didn’t know – is that our neighbor lost her sister suddenly a few days before. And they were out of town helping her grieving brother-in-law get the house in order to sell. The kid slamming into her garage door just tipped her over into a dark emotional pit.
After they returned home on Monday, Anna and I went out for a walk.[1] Our neighbor was out in the yard yanking up weeds with vengence. Since we have a good relationship with them I said something about, “Pulling weeds is a healthy thing after a good roadtrip.” She stood up with anger in her face and simply said, “It was not a good road trip…and then I have to deal with this garage door!” Anna and I thought nothing more of it than that she was tired from the trip, let it go and continued on our walk. All of that was on Monday.
Then Tuesday, to my surprise, I received a phone call from my neighbor. She was clearly distressed. That’s when she informed me her sister had died a few days before, and she was (with a teary and emotional voice) very sorry for being snippy with us the night before. I told her that I was so saddened to hear about her sister. I then told her, “Rxxxx, Anna and I didn’t take any offense. We didn’t feel like you were being snippy, or any of that.” You could tell she was emotionally distraught, choking up, tears in her eyes and voice. But she continued to apologize for her actions. After a bit I said, “Rxxxx, we didn’t take any offense at all. So I can tell you, from the bottom of our hearts, Anna and I forgive you.” She broke down for a bit and then replied, “Thank you, thank you so much.” And she never mentioned the event again in our conversation. It’s truly amazing how magical the words “I forgive you” are to people, even when you yourself don’t feel wronged in any way.
The conversation continued. She felt free to tell me how angry she was at God over her sister’s sudden death. She let the questions, tears, grief and anger flow. Somewhere in there I asked her if I could pray with her, and she quickly said, “Oh, please, please do.” I prayed for her, her husband, her brother-in-law, and the nephews and nieces who are crushed. She thanked me, and continued for a bit telling me how torn up she was, and confused by the weight of emotions she felt. I told her to take that all to God; just let those “whys?” and emotions flow. He will not be surprised. As we hung up I told her I was just a phone call away, and she responded appreciatively.
We have been neighbors for 12 years. She and her husband have some kind of Christian background, though I’m not sure what kind. This is the deepest conversation I’ve ever had with her. For 12 years it’s all been neighborly-surface-level stuff. They lost a son in Iraq back in 2005, and a few other details is all I’ve ever known about them. Clearly, the tale is not done. I have no idea where it will end.[2] But it simply reiterates to me the value of being neighbors. Patently showing concern and kindness with those next door. Unashamed of being Christians, but being gracious neighborly Christians who take a genuine interest in the folks right there in front of you.
But, it also reminds me that there is a lot of pain and grief out there. Serious, gut-ripping, soul-punching anguish. Jesus, who had compassion on the crowds who followed him because they were like sheep without a shepherd, beckons us to have compassion, to hold out compassion, and to be a people who smell of compassion to those geographically right in front of us.
- Please pray for Sxxxx and Rxxxx, I genuinely hurt for them!
- Pray the folks we know who are specifically grieving and hurting [Note: I actually had specific names and circumstances here in my congregational letter, but thought it best not to list them on my blog for privacy issues].
- And pray that God will help you and me and all of us to be compassionate neighbors for his honor and our neighbors’ good.
Pastor Mike
[1] A teeny extra note. FedEx had left packages on their porch while they were gone, and they had asked us to secure them, which we were glad to do. We’re just those kinds of neighbors.
[2] In fact, last night I visited with them for about an hour and the tears and conversation continued, as did prayer, and a little bit of Gospel.
Comments