“Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for the Life of Friendship” by Justin Whitmel Earley. A Review

 

Recently, I wrote in a weekly letter to my congregation how we are in moment in American history that divides and isolates. Several news sources are picking up on this reality, and so are plenty of smart, accredited people. Unfortunately, the divide and isolate pressure has been with us since the Fall (Genesis 3) and Cain murdering his brother, Abel (Genesis 4). But thankfully, Jesus comes as the remedy to divide and isolate (Ephesians 2:11-22). Therefore, by the grace of God, we have been empowered to push back hard against a divisive, isolating culture that is pushing hard against us. And I would say that Justin Whitmel Earley’s 256-page softback, “Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship,” is a big help in pushing back. It’s a straightforward read, easy to digest, and practical as can be.

Earley gets right to his point in the opening pages, “chronic loneliness is more dangerous to your health than smoking fifteen cigarettes a day…it’s not the body that’s killing us, it’s the lonely soul that’s killing the body” (10). From there, the author moves through Scripture, keeping God’s story as the main guidepost, and takes the readers through ten pieces that are for the “art and habit of friendship.” He describes vulnerability, honesty, covenant, forgiveness, invitation, geography, time, communication, memory and worship are all integral parts to building healthy, lasting, soul-enriching friendships.

Almost the whole way I kept thinking, “Yeah, I know that. I do that. I know that’s right.” In other words, most of what Earley will write is not a “Eureka!” kind of material. It’s actually very intuitive, much of which you learned on the playground in Kindergarten. But there are places when the author broaches into areas that will likely cause you to pause and think, and think hard. For example, when talking about geography as important to keeping friendships, he lays out seven habits of proximity (149-153). Instead of allowing your job to dictate where you live, his list of seven habits will likely guide you into a healthier decision. There’s more, here-and-there, so you won’t be bored.

As I was reading “Made for People” it jogged my memory, and I began to think about a dear friend of mine who lives in West Virginia (I live in Oklahoma). I hadn’t heard from him in a while, and I know he’s going through a very rough patch presently. So I put down the book and texted my friend, “Hey, we’re friends. Friends chat. Let’s set up a time to talk next week.” Happily, he responded back and we’ll connect in the next couple of days. That’s the kind of valuable thing this book does. You need to snag a copy and pour over it immediately. In fact, grab copies for you and a few friends, read it together, and talk it over. Your friendships will be better for it, and you’ll be pushing back hard against a divisive, isolating culture that is pushing hard against us. As the author notes, “Friendship will save the world because that is what God, the redeemer of all things, is doing in the world. He is making us friends and sending us out to call the world into that friendship” (232). I highly recommend the book.