Ask, Seek, Knock: Help for Not Being Judgmental While Exercising Proper Judgment

 

(This was my pastoral letter I sent to my congregation today, 2 August 2023)

This Sunday, our New Testament reading will be Matthew 7:7-11. I think the context of those verses is very important. Since I don’t want to get distracted with these details on Sunday, I’m sharing them with you now. Most Christians know our Lord’s promising offer in Matthew 7:7-11. Ask, seek, and knock and you will receive, find, and get access. Even evil people know how to give good things, so how much more does our very good Father? It is an encouraging passage. But it actually has a specific context that adds a deeper, more pointed application. 

Our Lord begins by talking about the difference between judgmentalism and having good judgment (discernment, if you will). First, he addresses judgmentalism (7:1-5):

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Another way to put it is, judgmentalism is holding others to strict accounts while you allow yourself broad latitude. Such as rigidly applying Scripture standards to others, while excusing yourself from God’s word on a specific matter. That’s the kind of log-in-the-eye Jesus is referring to. And our Lord is talking about how judgmentalism negatively impacts our community and personal relationships. 

But then, Jesus addresses proper judgment: “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you” (7:6). Clearly, you have to be able to discern what are pearls and holy things, but also who are dogs and pigs so you don’t throw what’s precious to them to trample on. We are actually being required in this verse to exercise proper judgment, not only in our social environment, but also closer to home, in our personal relationships. 

Unfortunately, though, we often justify our judgmentalism and redefine it as “proper judgment.” And sometimes we don’t engage proper judgment fearing we’re being judgmental! Some of this is what is happening in our present cultural climate. If we employ proper judgment regarding certain lifestyle issues that are harmful and wrong in God’s eyes, it is being denounced as judgmentalism (even by those who claim to be Christians). This causes many believers to become doubtful and question themselves, and wonder if they really are being judgmental. One result is that when we should be graciously speaking up to our neighbors or family members about God’s beautiful standards for life and wholeness, and standing with the Lord’s Scripture, we become eerily silent. 

On the other hand, some – in the name of proper judgment – will damn those living in sinful lifestyles, raising the noise levels up high, claiming that this or that life-choice is more evil than… (put in there any sin you want to name), and even disowning their own family members. When we’re tempted to do that, always remember that if we point a finger at others, there are three more pointing back at us. As an example, I find it instructive (and convicting) that pride is just as heinous (an abomination) to God (Proverbs 16:5) as is a man lying with a man as with a woman (Leviticus 18:22). The trick for us is to figure out how to graciously and fittingly use proper judgment without being judgmental. 

Therefore, it can all get very murky at times, and we can become deeply confused, especially when it comes to our personal relationships. That’s why our Lord then says what he says in 7:7-11:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

 Our Lord promises us some divine help in clearing up the murk and muddle, and making our way toward proper judgment without the judgmentalism! 

In fact, Jesus is already giving us some of the answer that we’re asking for and seeking. He is already opening the door to us on how to give proper judgment without judgmentalism. It starts in the very next verse: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (7:12). Correct others the way you want to be corrected. Approach others the way you want to be approached. Graciously speak to others when they’re wrong, in the same way you want others to graciously speak to you when you’re wrong. 

And there are more answers to our asking, seeking, knocking that he gives us as we move forward in Matthew 7, but I will leave that for another day. For now, though, I hope you can see that this is a beautiful passage, and our Lord’s compassionate words are deeply meaningful and practical, and has a specific application regarding our relationships.

 

Pastor Mike